As a larger woman of color growing up with no experience in the outdoors and who never used to fit into gear by outdoor brands, hiking in nature was pretty foreign to me. My body is not the norm you would generally see on trails or as the face of an outdoor brand. Because of the lack of diversity in the outdoors, some people have felt the need to question my presence on the trails, and that has led to some unfortunate encounters.
“Did you make it or not?” “She didn’t make it to the summit.” “You actually made it!?” “You went all the way to the top? You?” “You resent me for making it and you didn’t.”
These are only some of the callous statements I’ve had to endure on and off the mountains. There are many outdoor conversations to be had, and one of them needs to address what makes a hike, trek, or summit successful. Only YOU define what your summit is. Keep your head held up high because every step forward matters.
THE MOUNTAIN WAITS FOR YOU
I’ve never been a hiker that has had “summit fever” or a “do it for the gram” spirit. I’ve witnessed summit fever in people and thought to myself, was making yourself dangerously sick worth your safety? Most times, I’m not the one that completes a hike the first try either. Yes, I’ve had to attempt SEVERAL hikes more than once to reach the summit or complete the trail. But, I hike my own hike. The mountain isn’t going anywhere. Those mountains that instantly feel like home every time you step foot on trail are going to wait until it’s your time. Every hike is an experience and lesson for you to absorb. When it’s the right time, only then, does the mountain allow you time on the summit. It isn’t owed to you, nor guaranteed. So, I respect these mountains. They’ve been here for so long before me and will continue to share our stories long after I’m gone.
SETTING THE EXAMPLE TO DREAM BIG
My summit was different than my group’s during my first trip to Kilimanjaro. It doesn’t make it any less meaningful than what the others experienced. I was moving mountains long before I knew just what I was doing. It’s OK to be proud of your hike. It’s OK to turn around and head down. It’s OK to choose your safety and health. It’s OK to be sent down as well. I couldn’t have been more proud of all the women that saw the world from the rooftop of Africa on International Women’s Day 2022.
No one can ever take away the true fact that yes, you hiked all over that beast of a mountain. Your memories of how fresh and crisp the air felt rooting deep into your lungs while filling your soul will forever be with you. And how the songs of your team of porters and guides that lead you to each campsite everyday still play in your mind.
You ALL are a true inspiration and I hope others learn from you and your courageous treks to take up space in the outdoors. Every time you go out in a marginalized body, you’re creating representation that says people like you belong in this world. And yes, people that look like you belong in the outdoors. We deserve clothing and gear that actually fit us and are made for us. The body you have now is deserving of the adventures you’ve been dreaming of.
The following year, after my first attempt, the guide company Trek2Kili would bring me back for another chance. They believed in me and I’m forever Kili Strong for the rest of my life. As a plus-size hiker just under 300 pounds, I’ve reached the summit of the world’s tallest freestanding mountain. Which also happens to be one of the seven summits of our world – Mount Kilimanjaro. This mountain waited for me like so many other mountains have. I was welcomed once again with smiling faces of my loving crew and magical views of Moshi and Kilimanjaro. I took on an incredible journey that brought tears of joy and happiness that surpassed the aches and pains of this demanding trek. And to be honest, there are not many that look like myself on most trails. But this one is where I definitely stick out.
Sometimes you’ll just have to make space so that others can join you. Your representation matters. So I give myself permission to take space and represent. Be sure to give yourself some grace too. In a world as harsh as it can be sometimes, I’m just trying to shine bright for others to feel the warmth as well.
The fact is, I keep coming back to hikes or places I left incomplete or indifferent. For me, hiking is my way of seeing the world. So how badly do I want to experience this whole world!? I’m in this for life. Because the top of one mountain is the bottom of your next mountain. So keep on climbing. And just keep moving forward.
About the Author
Anjelica Avella is a SoCal based trekker, backpacker, writer, plus-size outdoor explorer, diversity and inclusion advocate, hiking guide, Mount Kilimanjaro plus-size/slow-paced group organizer, and community leader. She is passionate about diversifying the outdoors for all. You can follow her adventures and storytelling on social media here(IG) and here(TT).
